K-ON! Armlet of Ridiculousness and Randomness!
by VinnyValient
Summary: The eventual cross-over of everything that ever existed, at the Author's discretion, with the K-On universe at the centre of the converging multi-verse, gravitating and spiralling at an unbelievable speed towards the sugar-loving, genki-happy, laid-back band of Afterschool Tea Time. Now features K-On! and Pokemon
1. 1: K-ON!

'K-ON!' is a slice of life 4-koma by Kakifly and has been developed into an anime by Kyoto animation in 2009. It's a story about-.

"O-hai-o~"

"Yui! What are you doing here?"

"Neh, I thought I'd introduce myself?"

*Shakes head*. "You don't need to do that. If people are reading a 'K-ON!' fan fiction, they will have at least seen the anime or read the 4-koma."

"But why are you explaining 'K-ON!' then?"

"To get in the zone. Now go away, you're not supposed to be here!"

"Phoo…"

"So yeah, this story about these girls and their new adventures. Great, now I'm stuck in speech mode. Anyway, the Armlet of Ridiculousness and Randomness has now been re-activated. As the universes begin to converge together, expect crazy things to happen as the laws of physics and magic clash and merge."

"Wish us luck!"

"Oi! I told you to shoo!"

* * *

**K-ON!**

* * *

It was some time during the year when things started to go awry for the girls. It was hard to pinpoint when it was exactly. However, in the future they would agree that it started with that letter.

Mio was on the clean-up rotor at the time and the rest were doing what they did best: drinking tea and eating sweets. Azusa was eyeing the last cake on the table but she knew it was for bassist.

"We should start practice," she said, hoping to distract her self from the dessert.

Ritsu looked up from her teacup. "We can't start practice without Mio."

"Geez, you just don't want to practice." She sat back down with a sigh and her eyes lingered on the dessert again. It was a creamy slice of shortcake with a strawberry placed on top of thick layers of white coating. The biscuit base was crumbly yet in a bite it held together with the sweet cream. The sponge was soft and light, almost like biting into clouds.

"Sorry Azusa-chan, I won't be able to practice today." Everyone looked at Mugi with faint surprise and curiosity. She brought out a letter from one of her pockets. "I have to be somewhere today. But I received a letter addressed to our Light Music club."

"Ooh, what's inside?" Yui reached out and grabbed it. Her eyes scanned the page. "The Armlet of Ridiculousness and Randomness has been re-activated. The main subjects are the members of Afterschool Tea Time. I hope you have a nice time.

"From the Author. DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'K-ON!'."

Only the little kohai looked confused and the others were quick to respond.

Ritsu said, "So it isn't Kakifly then."

Mugi added, "I think it must be some different Author-san,"

Yui nodded. "I wonder if it's a girl-chan or a boy-kun."

Azusa asked, "What are you talking about?"

The other guitarist put her teacup down as though to explain. "I hope this Author-chan isn't too into Mitsu. Otherwise, I won't get much Azu-nyan time."

Ritsu looked perplexed. "What's Mitsu? Ah, Mugi, your nose is bleeding!"

"Oh, is it? Thank you." She pulled out a tissue and cleaned her face. "Anyway, I must be off now. Could you pass on the letter to Mio-chan for me? I wanted to wait until she was here but I need to go now." She looked at the time on her phone as she said that and stood up to leave.

"Eh, Mugi-chan, where are you going?"

"Top secret family business." With a wink, she grabbed her bag and left the room.

The drummer raised an eyebrow but quickly ignored it, assuming Mugi had rich, family business things to worry about. Before Azusa could get a better look of the letter, it was snatched away by Ritsu. "I wonder what that was about? Anyway, I'm going to tell Mio about this letter." She waved the letter and got ready to run. "You guys clean up the teacups! Ciao."

"Eh? No fair!" Yui cried out.

That left Azusa and Yui. And ton-chan. Azusa was trying to get her head around this nonsense. _Armlet of Ridiculousness and Randomness? A different Author? What's going on?_ Azusa decided not to pay too much attention to it, hoping the letter was a prank_. Who would ever think up of such a weird name anyway?_

Azusa glanced at the time and minute hand was just past four. They had plenty of time to practice, just the two guitar players.

"Yui-sempai, we should go practice-."

"Neh, Azu-nyan. What do you think the Armlet does?"

"Pardon? Um… I guess ridiculous and random things."

"Oh, you're so clever Azu-nyan."

"Was that sarcasm?" _I don't think Yui can do sarcasm but oh well._

"We should go investigate!"

"Huh? I thought we could practice."

"We can practice whenever we want." In an instant, Yui was dragging the smaller girl out of the classroom. "Let's go!"

* * *

In the rush, Azusa found herself swept away in Yui's current. She was washed to the third floor where they ended up by the occult club's front door. Yui thought it was most appropriate. Being a second year, Azusa felt a little out of place but was faintly surprised at Yui's thinking. A weird armlet would be right up the occult club's alley.

The door opened; it was creepily dark inside as two faces peered from the shadows at them.

"Oh, hello Yui. And friend."

"Are you here to join in our sacrifice?" A Barbie doll, stripped naked, lay on a table in the centre of the room.

"No. I came to ask about something. Have you heard of this thing called-? What was it called again?"

Azusa sighed. "Armlet of Ridiculousness and Randomness. You just read it in the letter less than a minute ago."

The occult members shook their head but they seemed intrigued. "We haven't heard such an object before. If you like, we can take a look into it for you."

"Thank you very much!" Yui replied. She continued to explain about the letter they had received.

"So Kakifly is writing again?"

"No, it's a different Author-chan."

"Hm. Things might get interesting then. Sorry but we have to continue our ritual." They nodded and waved goodbye. The door creaked as it closed, fitting for the occult club but not for a school.

"They're really nice, aren't they?" said Yui.

_If a little weird…_ Azusa sighed, realising she would be doing that a lot today.

* * *

"Mio-chan!" Yui shouted as she ran into her homeroom. She glomped onto the taller girl, though it was comparable to a rugby tackle. They almost fell to the floor.

It took the bassist a moment to collect herself before responding, "Yui? What are you doing? I thought you'd be practising."

"Neh, we're investigating!" as though she was talking about some epic quest and raised her arm.

Azusa had been in her sempai's classroom a few times before, though usually it was because Yui had dragged her there like this time. Secretly, she hoped to have this room as her homeroom next year with Ui and Jun, her two best friends.

The desks and seats were lined up nicely but in the corner of the room another desk had appeared. A computer was placed on top of it and a red-headed girl seemed to be installing the electrics. Or she had punched a hole in the wall and was stealing wires.

On the other side of the room, Azusa could point out each of her sempai's desks. Yui's was easiest to remember being at the back in the luxurious window seat. Ritsu's was at the front in full view of any teacher's watchful eye. At the moment, a large, red bottle stood on the desk. She tried to ignore it.

"Oh Azusa, you looking at my prize?" Ritsu placed an arm around Azusa's shoulder and pulled her closer. It was a bottle of ketchup.

"Right…" Azusa didn't want to ask but she could tell Ritsu wasn't going to let go until she did. Another sigh as she gave in. "Why do you have a large bottle of ketchup?"

"You see Mio and I were walking around the other day we saw a large tower of red reaching up the ceiling! And Mio's eyes widened and she lusted after it-"

"Baka. I just pointed it out and you bought it."

"You didn't even let me finish my story!"

"Well, it's just an outright-."

"So, have you found anything about the Armlet?" Ritsu flashed her trademark grin. Mio fumed and turned her back on everyone.

Yui shook her head. "The Occult club are going to look into it for us. Come on, let's all go together. It'll be more fun!"

"I can't. I'm helping someone out." Mio gestured to the corner to the redhead. At least she wasn't stealing wires or punching through walls then. Even though she seemed to be working for the school, her uniform was not one of work clothes but a school uniform they didn't recognise.

She barely turned her head to acknowledge them, her eyes focused on her job. "Hello, says Misaka," her voice flat and emotionless.

"…" Azusa paused. _Did she just-?_

"Hello, Misaka-chan!" Yui said.

Mio explained. "She's new here and Sawako asked me to give her a tour of the school after she installs the computer."

"And I'm tagging along," Ritsu added. "She needs to watch out for all the ghost stories this school has."

"I see…" Azusa replied. Yui cut her off by tugging her arm.

"Okay! We'll continue our investigations. Team Yui-Azu-nyan, let's go!"

"Huh? Ah!" Swept along again, Yui dragged her off.

"Goodbye, says Misaka waving goodbye."

* * *

Mugi walked past the train station she took every day. With a glance of the time, she knew she wasn't going to be late to her meeting. However, her dad's words made her feel uneasy.

_"It doesn't matter if you're punctual for this. Just… be prepared. He's a bit weird."_

"I wonder what this is about?" she said to herself. A hand drawn map led down the path towards Mio and Ritsu's house, and then into an alleyway. She was about turn the next corner when she heard the screeching of tyres. Her head span round as a vehicle took round a corner far too quickly. All four wheels burned on the tarmac. And a girl stood in the middle of the road. Frozen.

"Look out!" Mugi shouted, dropping her things.

She dived across the road, pushing the smaller girl safely out of the way. There was just enough time for her self to get out of the way. The car passed quickly, narrowly missing the rich girl; but Mugi was faster, whipping out her phone to capture the driver's license plate before it drove out of sight.

There was a slight pause before she sighed as the adrenaline rush began to settle. On the floor next to her, still in shock, the girl still lay.

"Are you okay?" Mugi asked, holding out her hand. "Oh, Shizuka-chan." It was the girl that sat behind her during classes. Kinoshita Shizuka. She blinked a few times before taking Mugi's hand to get up. Her face went red quite quickly.

"Th-thank you, Mugi-chan."

"No problem."

"Y-you're really strong."

Mugi didn't know her class-mate very well. With a glance at her wristwatch, she still had plenty of time so she could hang around and chat. Shizuka was likely to be still in shock so Mugi felt it was her responsibility to look after her for the time being.

"Let's sit down."

* * *

Yui and Azusa were walking down a corridor to their next destination when a different redhead that Azusa did recognise walked past.

"Was that Megumi-sempai?"

"I hope the Armlet does some really fun things."

"Um… I think that was-."

"What do you think it does, Azu-nyan?"

She sighed, starting to get used to being ignored. "Maybe we'll get some practice."

"Wow, that is a ridiculous idea."

"Hey! I'm not serious!"

"I think it should be like a fairy tale. Where we go save the princess. Once upon a time…"

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"Azu-nyan?" Yui stopped quite abruptly, leaving Azusa to wonder what she said. The older guitarist leaned dangerously close until they could feel each other's breathes on their skin.

"Is there someone you like?"

"W-What?!"

"Aw, Azu-nyan. You should have said so sooner." Yui made a little heart with her fingers.

"There's no-one I like!"

Yui pouted. "Aw, that's sad."

Azusa walked on ahead to avoid the subject, ignoring Yui's pleas.

_Where are we going, anyway?_ Azusa wondered. "Today has been a surprisingly normal day. I was expecting worse."

"Here we are!" Yui shouted and knocked on the door. There were lots of voices from inside; two of them seemed to be singing.

"One second~," one of the voices replied. Azusa's skin prickled; the voice sounded surprisingly similar to Yui's. The door opened. "Ah, Yui-chan. Welcome, welcome." A very short girl greeted them, even shorter than Azusa. But her uniform showed she was a third year. With long, blue hair that reached her knees and adorably, large eyes, her chibi appearance looked as though she jumped out of a different anime.

"Since when did you go to this school?" Azusa asked to no one.

"Ah, Kona-chan. This is Azu-nyan. She's my Kohai."

"Hello Azu-nyan. Yui's told me a bit about you. Would you like to wear these?" She pulled cat ears from nowhere.

"No thanks…" _Were they prepared specifically for me?_

"Azu-nyan, this is the Lucky Star club. This is Kona-chan. Over there is Kaga-chan, and her twin Kasa-chan. And over there is Miyu-chan."

Azusa frowned. "What's with all these nick-names?"

"Introduce us properly!" shouted Kagami, to which Yui only scratched the back of her head.

"Neh, can you help us with something?" and Yui started explaining the letter they received, mentioning how the Author was probably not Kakifly.

Inside the room, lots of manga and games were strewn about. A computer had already been set up in the room and they were using the monitor as a screen for a game they were playing. Lyrics to a song (Sparkling Day Dream by Zaq) bounced on the screen and 'Kasa-chan' seemed to be singing with 'Miyu-chan'.

"Are the Armlets from a game or a manga?" Konata asked.

"I don't think so. If it was, you'd probably already know."

"That's true." She rubbed her chin in thought. "You could go to the library?"

"Eh? But books are boring."

"I know, right?"

"Are all third years like this?" Azusa asked.

"If we find anything about the Armlets then we'll let you know."

They said their goodbyes as Yui and Azusa continued their search.

"What does the Lucky Star club do exactly?" Azusa asked.

"I don't know. They only recently started up."

"When was that?"

"Today."

* * *

Shizuka twiddled her thumbs around the ice cream she was eating. _I'm sitting next to Mugi-chan and eating ice cream with her._ She had calmed down in one respect, but in another her heart hammered against her chest like a humming bird trying to get out.

"What flavour did you get?" Mugi asked.

"Ah! Um… V-vanilla."

From Mugi's point of view, it looked like Shizuka was still in shock so she decided to stay with her. Sitting under the umbrella of a local café, Mugi wondered if Mio and Ritsu came here often, like on a date.

"How are you feeling now?"

"B-better. With you here…" _Oh no,_ she thought. _My face is probably red now. It must be red! Quick, change the subject. _"H-How is the Light Music club going?" _Good, I didn't say anything embarrassing. Or ask anything embarrassing. I think._

"It's fun. I really enjoy it. What do you think of our music?"

"Um… The same. It's relaxing to watch you guys' play… I like the way your fingers move on the keyboard. They're like beautiful fairies dancing on the keys- I mean! Everyone! Is awesome! And good…"

"Thank you, Shizuka-chan." Mugi smiled, though she was surprised at the compliment. No one had ever said such nice things about her fingers before. She felt a little self-conscious now with her fingers exposed around her ice cream. "I'm glad you enjoy our music. I'm surprised to see that you think our music is relaxing."

"I- I like to listen to your bit of the music. It's melodic. And peaceful. I sometimes listen to music in class. It helps to calm me down."

"Did you listen to music in today's class?" Mugi recalled Shizuka singing behind her during maths, but she shook her head.

"I was just singing to myself and watching you. You know, like your hair. I-I really like your hair. But not in a creepy way! I just like to stare at it from behind you… And imagine playing with it between my fingers. Your eyes are beautiful… I mean- forget I said that. FORGET I SAID ALL OF THAT!"

Shizuka got up and ran.

"Ah, wait!" She was almost out of sight and forgot to look both ways when crossing the road, causing several angry drivers to honk their horns.

"Stay safe!" Mugi shouted one last time before she disappeared. With a sigh, she looked at the time. "Oh! I'm late!" After gathering her things, she ran off, quickly forgetting the other girl as she wondered about the meeting.

She arrived to Thirteenth Street. It was a street Mio and Ritsu regularly passed but tall houses loomed high on either side casting the street in the dark and no streetlights lit the way. Her directions told her to walk into an alleyway, against her instincts, and she found a small shop at the end of it.

A tall man sat on the steps, waiting for her. He had a black kimino of some sort with a hat and sandals. Her father had called him hat-and-clogs.

"Good evening, Kotobuki Tsumugi."

* * *

"What if the Armlet turned us into magical girls?" Yui asked.

"I hope not. It would be really embarrassing." _Particularly with Yui and Mugi around_. The transformation sequence of most magical girl anime usually showed too much skin for her liking.

"We should get super powers!" shouted Yui. "With magic and cool things!" Yui turned towards the window abruptly and reached her hand out. Azusa looked as Yui grabbed the setting sun. "Look Azu-nyan. The sun is in my hand!"

"I'm sure that's a quote from somewhere. Anyway, we still don't know what the armlet does so I wouldn't count on it." Azusa looked outside. It was getting late in the evening and she saw some people walking home. "It must be the kendo club," given their wooden swords. Azusa wondered why they were heading outside. It took a moment for her to realise that they were going home. She pulled out her phone and realised how late it was.

"We haven't practiced at all today! And I haven't done my homework yet!"

Yui glomped onto her kohai. "There, there. The Armlet will solve it for us."

"How is it going to help? I think things are just going to get worse."

* * *

**POKEMON**

* * *

The next day, afterschool, there was a package on the table. The group were waiting for Yui to arrive as it was addressed to her. Mugi was away again on her 'secret business'.

"What's 'Magic Shop Leon'?" Azusa asked, reading where the package was delivered from. They each shook their heads, not recognising the name or brand. Ritsu was tempted to rip open the package but Mio held her back.

Ritsu pouted. "You never know what might be in there but it could be important. Like an animal trying to get out!"

"Who would send Yui an animal in a box with no air holes?"

"It's definitely an alien then."

The door opened before they could continue and Yui bounced to the table. "Hey, what's in the box?"

"We don't know. It's for you."

With a quick gasp and dropping her bag, her hands started tearing away the packaging. Lots of paper and bubble wrap was flung in the air as she dived into the box until she produced a small, round object. It fit snugly in her hand.

Ritsu gathered up the bubble wrap and stashed it in her bag. "That's a lot of foam and wrapping for such a small object."

The sphere in Yui's hand had two coloured halves. The top was red whilst the bottom was white. A black band separated the two halves and a small button was placed in the centre.

Azusa looked a little dumbfounded when she realised what it was. "It's a Pokéball."

* * *

/*Author's Notes

This is going to be (should be) the only Author's notes there is in the fan fiction so you better dig the wax outta your ears and listen real close!

Please review. Thanks.

*/


	2. 2: Pokemon

Pokémon was created by Satoshi Tajiri in 1996 and is currently published by Nintendo. The theme is to collect, train and battle these amazing pocket monsters. The games revolve around the catch phrase "Gotta Catch 'Em All!" with the idea being self explanatory. There are currently 719 Pokémon at the time of writing this (generation 6) and completing this challenge earns awesome bragging rights.

Pokémon has become a (freakin') huge franchise with several manga spin offs, a trading card game and an anime. Competitive tournaments are hosted on a yearly basis and there is usually a Pokémon society in some universities. Well, there is in mine. *Woop!*

Note: The anime protagonist in Japanese is named Satoshi. Not that this has anything to do with this chapter.

* * *

**POKEMON**

* * *

Azusa took her time going to the clubroom that afternoon. She suspected they weren't going to get any practice, following yesterday's adventure, and wasn't surprised to find Mugi had left early for her 'top-secret family business'. Mio and Ritsu prepared tea and, instead of a large cake, a brown package addressed to Yui was on the table.

After some debate on whether to open it or not (Ritsu for, Mio against, Azusa thinking it was a stupid argument), the older guitarist finally arrived and quickly tore away the packaging to reveal a small, red and white sphere. Ignoring the letter that had come with it, Yui was extremely pleased with her present. They recognised what it was but wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Why do you have a Pokéball?" Azusa asked, "and who would send you one?"

However, Yui was too distracted with her new toy and already had three 'selfies' in different poses on her phone. "All I need now is a hat."

"Is there anything inside?" Ritsu asked. In her head, she was imagining a raging, fire-breathing Charizard.

"I choose you!" Yui pulled her arm back and, in one smooth motion, she threw the Pokéball across the room. It bounced once with a *pong* noise and landed next to the drums. It opened up. Nothing came out.

"Aw…"

"You weren't really expecting a Pokémon were you?" Mio asked but Yui's face obviously said otherwise. The bassist went to pick the Pokéball up.

"It's quite detailed…" It felt cold on the touch, the weighted metal stealing heat from her hand. The grey interior revealed complex electronics and little lights flashed on and off, a perfect copy of the anime version.

"Neh, do you think it works?"

Mio passed the Pokéball back to Yui. "Even if it does, there are no Pokémon here."

Yui's eyes lingered on the fish tank in the corner. "Does-."

"No."

"I didn't even finish!"

Azusa sighed. "We should get some practice."

"Aw~."

_Even if Mugi-sempai isn't here, we can still practice,_ Azusa thought as she went to pick up her instrument. _It feels like a long time since the last school festival but-._

"Go Pokéball!"

Azusa was half way across the room when Yui shouted out. She turned just as the ball hit her on the head. Azusa's shocked face froze just as a red light sucked her into the Pokéball before it dropped to the ground. For a few seconds, everyone stared. The Pokéball wobbled on the floor with the button flashing red. Then, with a loud *ding* noise, it stopped moving.

The whole group ran forwards and crowded round. No one touched it in fear of what would happen next.

"It… It works…" Ritsu managed to say after a while. Through the red casing on top, they could see a mini Azusa. She sat on the floor of the Pokéball and looked thoroughly confused.

Yui reached out and picked up the Pokéball. For a moment, everyone froze, as though expecting the whole world to turn upside down. Then-, "I caught an Azu-nyan!" she cried, holding it up as though she just caught her first Pokémon, which she kind of did.

"Yui! What have you done?" Mio snapped. "You just- what just-."

"I don't know. I caught an Azu-nyan."

"What do you mean-?"

"That's so cool!" Ritsu cried out, starting to get caught up in the excitement.

"I know right?" Yui replied.

Silently, Mio wished Mugi was here to help calm things down. But on second thought, the rich girl would be more '_curious_?' and '_excited_!' than '_what the hell is going on_?' In these kinds of situations, Azusa's snarky mouth was ideal. Of course, she was busy at the moment. _How is this even happening?_ Mio glanced back at the box and recalled the 'Magic Shop Leon' and wondered where it came from. _Or is this the Armlet's-?_

Yui pulled her arm back. "I choose you, Azu-nyan!"

Similar to the anime, a white light burst open from the Pokéball and formed the young guitarist. The light faded and Azusa stumbled on her feet for a few moments before collapsing on the sofa. Nothing had visibly changed about her, which Ritsu found disappointing.

"At least the Pokéball works," she said. Mio and her wanted to question the 'Pokémon's' first experience, however-.

"Return!" Yui flicked her hand out and the red light sucked her back in. Then-, "I choose you!"

"Is it really that fun?" Ritsu asked, watching Yui enjoy messing with Azusa. Her eyes went swirly and Yui stopped for a brief moment.

Ritsu was reaching out for the Pokéball when Yui turned to face her.

"Go Pokéball!" Yui threw the Pokéball at Ritsu who quickly dodged. Unfortunately, it hit Mio.

Nothing happened, except that a Pokéball hit Mio in the face.

"Aw, I can only have one Pokémon at a time."

"Stop messing around!" Mio shouted, confiscating the Pokéball.

"Who sent it to you?" Ritsu asked.

"It's from my parents."

"What kind of parents do you have?" Ritsu and Mio glanced at each other and tried to remember what they were like. They had only met them once but it seemed like long ago. Mio had always thought of them as irresponsible for leaving their two daughters alone in the house most of the time, even though Ui was worth an army of housemaids, but she didn't know how to react to this Pokéball.

Ritsu just wanted a Pokéball for herself. The amount of fun she could have with a pet Mio-.

"Azu-nyan…" said Azusa. There was a brief moment it to register what Azusa had said. All heads turned towards her. "Azu-nyan?"

"Did she just say…?" Ritsu began.

"Azu-nyan? Azu-azu-nyan?" Question marks appeared over her head.

Ritsu almost burst out laughing. "Did she really just become a Pokémon? Man I wish Mugi was here to see this!" She pulled out her phone and started taking pictures.

"Azu-nyan!" She started to wave her arms around in panic.

"She's finally accepted her nick-name," said Ritsu, sending off a text to Mugi.

"Nyan!" said the Azu-nyan, shaking her head.

Mio, "Guys, isn't this a real problem?"

Ritsu, "Nah, she'll be fine. Meanwhile, let's have some fun."

Azu-nyan, "N-nyan?"

Yui, "Ooh, I've always wanted a pet cat."

Azu-nyan, "Nyan."

Ritsu, "It'll be expensive though with all the pet feed and cat stuff. Oh, and she'll need to be house trained."

Azu-nyan, "Azu-nyan!"

Yui, "I'm sure I could get an allowance. And Ui won't mind if we keep a cat."

Ritsu, "So… Ui's going to have a classmate for a pet?"

Mio, "Pet's aren't allowed in school anyway."

Yui, "Then what will Azu-nyan do when I'm away from home?"

Mio, "Don't worry. Cats patrol their territory in the daytime following a-. Guys! Azusa's a human!"

Ritsu, "So we _can_ bring her to school!"

Azu-nyan, "Azu-nyan. Azu-azu-nyan."

Mio, "This is just slavery!"

Yui, "If I pay her in cat food, will that make her a servant?"

Azu-nyan, shaking her head, "Nyan!"

Mio, "Shouldn't we be trying to find a way to turn her back to normal?"

Ritsu, "I have an idea! Hey Azusa…nyan. Say 'Azu' for yes and 'Nyan' for no."

Azu-nyan, "Azu?"

Ritsu, "Are you a cat?"

Azu-nyan, "Nyan."

Ritsu, "But only cats go nyan! Therefore you're officially a cat."

Azu-nyan, "NYAN."

Ritsu, "What do cats need? Cat food, ball of wool, catnip, a basket to sleep in-."

Yui, "Eh? Azu-nyan can just sleep with me."

Azu-nyan, "Azu?"

Ritsu, "Pardon?"

Mugi's spirit, "Yuri?"

Yui, "She'll curl up on the end of my bed and I can use her as a hot water bottle."

Ritsu, "Oh phew. I thought you were meaning something else there."

Yui, "Huh? What do you mean?"

Ritsu, "Don't worry about it. We'll have her sprayed and it won't be a problem. Unless having her sprayed is the problem."

Azu-nyan, angrily, "Nyan! Azu-azu-nyan. Azu! Nyan!"

Yui, "What's spraying?"

Ritsu, "Let's just say when she reaches a certain age you may or may not have kittens."

Mio, "Guys! We're getting dangerously close to the mature rating!"

Yui, "Kittens! I want kittens!"

Azu-nyan, with a red face, "N-Nyan!"

Ritsu, glancing at Mio, "Hey Yui, can you get me a Pokéball?"

Mio, red-faced, "What are you planning?"

Ritsu, "Nothing." Evil wink.

Yui, "Sure. I'll ask my parents later."

Mio, pointing the Pokéball at Azu-nyan, "Return!"

The bassist had forgotten she had the Pokéball in her hand and decided to change the subject. With Azusa out of the picture, the attention turned towards Mio and she tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Guys, this is a problem! How are we going to turn Azusa back to normal?"

Ritsu pulled an evil grin. "The real question is, how do we use this to our advantage?"

"Oh, oh, I know!" Yui grabbed the Pokéball from Mio's hands and ran into the club closet. A 'Do not disturb' sign appeared on the door as Yui did her preparations. Mio stared in stunned silence.

Ritsu, "You know how we were just talking about kittens?"

* * *

Meanwhile, whilst undergoing her special, top-secret, family business, Mugi's ears twitched as her yuri senses were tingling. Her hand grabbed her phone before it buzzed and Ritsu's texts appeared on the screen.

"Why did Ric-chan send me pictures of Azusa-chan?"

* * *

Ritsu checked the text she just sent and realised the pictures of Azusa talking 'Pokémon speak' was the same as pictures of Azusa. She was about to remedy the text when Yui and Azusa finally left the closet. And a horde of wild kittens appeared!

Just kidding…

"I choose you! Azu-nyan!" For a brief moment, Ritsu had the image of Ash Ketchum pointing forwards with Pikachu racing across his arm and leaping off his hand to unleash a thunderbolt at Team Rocket, blasting them off again.

In reality, Yui had managed to find a red and white hat, blue jacket over a black shirt, jeans and a belt and wore them as cosplay. Somehow, she had a startling resemblance to the anime protagonist in his original attire, minus the black hair, the green gloves and sneakers, the fact they had completely different faces, were drawn by different artists, and boobs. Otherwise, two peas in a pod.

Meanwhile, Azusa stayed in the closet.

"I don't know what to expect," said Mio, but she leaned forward anyway to see what Yui had done to Azusa. Ritsu, too, was excited and her phone was ready to take pictures.

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan, still in hiding. Eventually, after a lot of coaxing in the form of physically being dragged out the closet, Azusa's 'Azu-nyan' form was revealed.

Simply put, Azusa was wearing a sexy cat costume. From cute, triangle ears to a long, swinging tail, fluffy cat paws on hands and feet with furry bikini, her midriff lay bare, as was her arms and legs. With that much skin showing, Azusa could have been compared to a stereotypical American cheerleader slut just before being bedded. Kittens.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Ritsu asked, half covering her eyes in embarrassment for Azusa. It didn't stop her from taking pictures.

"Sawako-sensei has something for every occasion! Even Pokémon!" Yui did a twirl, showing off her Ash Ketchum cosplay.

* * *

"I am definitely missing something I don't want to miss…" Mugi said to herself.

* * *

Tea was difficult to drink. Not because Azusa did not have thumbs, the cat paws allowed her to be vaguely human, but the gloves did not fit through the teacup's handle. She was reduced to humiliation as Yui prepared a cat bowl for her to lick out of. At least she put it on the table… for everyone to watch.

"What do people use Pokémon for?" Mio asked, hoping to divert attention, even though all pairs of eyes were fixated on Azusa.

"Pets!" Ritsu cried out, imagining a collar around the junior's neck with a little bell. "We should probably go shopping sooner than later. We need a leash."

Yui stared at her Pokémon. "Sit, Azu-nyan."

"Azu-nyan _nyan_ Azu," said the Azu-nyan.

"I think that translates to 'I _am_ sitting'," Mio said.

Ritsu said, "Some Pokémon help out with manual labour and work." They tried to imagine tiny Azusa helping at a construction worksite, carrying large girders and breaking boulders. However, only in fantasy anime did cat girls do the heavy work.

"Here's my homework, Azu-nyan." Yui placed her maths book in front of the cat girl.

"Yui! That's cheating!" Mio shouted.

"Nyan-nyan nyan-azu," said the Azu-nyan, pointing at several numbers as though the answer was obvious.

"Um…" Yui handed a pencil to the cat girl and she tried to use it but it quickly dropped to the floor through her furry hands.

"Azu," said the Azu-nyan, a little smug.

"Bad Azu-nyan! Sit!"

"We've been through this joke…" Mio said.

"What else to people use Pokémon for?" Yui asked.

"Well, there is one last thing," Ritsu said. "That probably would have been the first thing to be mentioned if you've played the games."

"Yeah, but there's no one else to play with."

Azusa looked a little worried now, but was glad she was the only Pokémon in school. However, one can only be so glad for being a Pokémon, and Yui was about to sink that relief like a torpedo towards a submarine.

"Oh, I know!" Yui whipped out her phone and started texting. Within a few seconds, there was a noise at the door.

*Knock* *Knock*

The person didn't wait for an answer as the door burst open and a short girl that Azusa quickly recognised entered the room.

"Azu-nyan…" said the Azu-nyan, filled with dread. The girl that had just burst in had long, blue hair that reached her knees and adorably, large eyes as though she was drawn by a different artist.

"Whenever two trainer's make eye contact, they are fated to battle each other!"

"Who the hell is this?" Ritsu asked, pointing at the other Ash cosplayer.

"I'm not cosplaying as Ash," she replied.

"I didn't say-."

"I am Red!" Her clothes showed it. Whilst she had the exact same style as the still-only-ten-years-old anime character (including the hat), the only real difference was the red jacket rather than a blue one, meaning her cosplay was of the first main character in the Pokémon adventures manga, aptly named Red. It is important to note Red does actually age, but Konata is a bit short for that. However, the auras they gave off were completely different. Ash/Yui, gave the feeling of a warm and joyful, go-happy fun to those around her. As soon as Red/Konata burst through the door, things got serious.

"So, let's battle!"

"Kona-chan, welcome." Yui stepped forward and smiled. "Do you have a Pokémon?"

"Yup! I just caught her."

Ritsu asked, "Wait, just then?"

Konata readied her Pokéball. She pulled her arm back to throw it.

"Wait!" someone shouted and Konata waited. "Where the hell are you running off to?" Another girl had appeared now at the doorway slightly out of breath. Nobody would have recognised the gothic Lolita girl that had entered the room but two, distinct, tsundere, twin tails were a give away.

"Ah, Kagami-chan. Do you want to watch too?"

"No I don't. You left me there to die!" Every time she moved, the many, many, _many_ frills swayed as a sea of dancing, white lace.

The light music club looked at each other and decided to stay out of it.

"Oh, so you left Miyuki and Tsukasa-chan on their own?"

"Urk. Wait, so did you!"

"Now, now." A tall, pink-haired girl had appeared now. It was hard to tell whether Mio or her was taller with the different art styles but no one paid any notice.

"Miyuki, you escaped?" She was dressed as a ninja.

"That just leaves…"

"Hello."

"Tsukasa."

Actually, it was Sawako. And there was an evil glint in her eye. "Where are you girls off to in a hurry?" Hands clamped down on Kontata's and Kagami's shoulders before they could make a break for it. "Konata, where's the outfit you were just wearing?"

"I can't be seen around in that!"

"Wow, an outfit even Konata won't wear," said Yui.

"Oh, hi girls."

"Sawa-chan! We haven't seen you around lately."

"Well, Mugi said that she wasn't going to be here for a few days so I thought there would be no sweets."

"There's always tea."

Konata shuffled under the Sawako's grip. "So… Are we going to battle? Or should I just release this person -I mean Pokémon- I just caught?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

At that moment, Konata ducked and managed to break free. A second later, she was hiding behind Yui.

"Konata! Help me!" Kagami reached out but the other girl didn't budge.

"You're on your own."

"Traitor!"

Yui and Konata locked eyes again. They both reached for their Pokéballs. "I choose you, Azu-nyan!" She threw the Pokéball. Nothing was inside. "Oh yeah, Azu-nyan's hiding in the closet."

Ignoring Azusa's cries of woe, Yui managed to drag her Pokémon out and put her in position.

"You know, there isn't much room in here," Mio said when she found herself being pushed to the corner as the two newbie trainers faced off. Azusa had the face of '_God, Help Me'._

Sawako just stared. "Where did you find that outfit?" she asked, pointing at Azusa. It was something that shouldn't be at school. She was planning to wear that after she got a boyfriend. Maybe after a few dates and, on a daring night when she felt particularly risqué, wear that.

"I found it in the closet."

"No way." She finally let go of Kagami and went over to double check the storage cupboard.

"So, about this battle…" Konata asked. "Shouldn't we clear the tea sets first?

Half drunk cups of tea and a saucer of milky tea were still laid out on the table. They were probably cold by then, particularly Azusa's drink.

"We should go outside then." The sun was still out but they could see all the athletic and sports clubs about. Probably half the school was outside at the moment to watch a certain cat girl's new outfit. Azusa's voice of disagreement could easily have been translated into English, but for the purposes of comedy, Yui didn't understand.

"Let's go!"


	3. 2: Pokemon, Part 2

Previously on Pokémon…

"Yui has finally reached ten years old and went to receive her first Pokémon in order to start her journey as a Pokémon trainer but after waking up late and running to Professor Oak's lab with a piece of toast in her mouth she found all the Pokémon had been taken-."

Mio, "Wait, we're high school students! Not a shoujo manga-."

"So in the end her parents gave her a Pokéball and she captured her some random person –I mean Pokémon- in Pallet Town in a Pokéball; but she didn't look the part and required dressing up thus probably humiliating Azusa for the rest of eternity (Ritsu's pictures made sure of that) and soon after Yui began the obligatory first battle against her rival, Konata. And a good pun would be Konatash; however she's cosplaying as Red so the pun is wasted and that makes me sad."

Mio, "Aren't you going to stop the battle? Azusa's a person, not a Pokémon!"

"Both are beginner trainers but Konatared (it just isn't the same) has infinite gaming knowledge. How will our heroines fair against this first boss battle? Will Yui be able to overcome this first challenge? And what's going to happen to those pictures of Azusa?"

Mio, "More like what's going to happen to Azusa's future?"

(They were sold on eBay for all the moneys… but then Azusa sued Ritsu's ass.)

Mio, "Why are you ignoring me?!"

* * *

**POKEMON, PART 2**

* * *

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan, not quite believing her eyes from inside her Pokéball. Somehow, in the last ten minutes, someone, or some people, had set up a stadium for their battle. The area within the running track set the arena and seats had been raised for an audience forming something similar to a football stadium, or a Pokémon stadium. White lines had been spray-painted onto the dirt and someone had been careful enough to include a Pokéball in the centre. There was even a wide screen facing the school with adverts, mimicking the Pokémon league stadiums.

The stands that were meant for group photographs at the end of the year provided cheap spaces as crowds of people started swarming to watch. Small faces could be seen peering from the school windows that refracted the evening sunlight. Even the occult club were renting out telescopes for those watching on the roof. That went as well as one would expect.

_It's like the whole school is here to watch_, Azusa thought and she realised she was right. There wasn't a single person who didn't go to a school club and all clubs had afterschool activities – clubs like Lucky Star made sure of that. It was still before five o'clock and none of the clubs had finished for the day. _Why can't you do your own club activities? This can't be that interesting, can it?_

Yui had her own little box on her side of the mock stadium. It was a bench inside a football goal and Ritsu, Mio and Ui were there to support her.

"You can do it Yui!" Ritsu cheered. "Azu-nyan, go kick Konata's butt!"

"I don't think we should encourage violence-," Mio started to say but the crowd suddenly got louder as Konata arrived. She was late for whatever reason but went straight to her box on her side of the stadium. She started waving to the crowd but one of her friends started shouting at her.

Ritsu leaned forwards, as though it would help her see the other side better. "Hey, they seem to be arguing."

"That's probably just Kaga-chan and Kona-chan," Yui replied.

"The battle is due to start in five minutes, announces Misaka into her microphone that she definitely did not steal from the headmaster's room."

Ritsu stood up abruptly. "Why's that girl the commentator?" Beneath the large screen was the emotionless girl in her foreign school uniform. Her blank stare as she stiffly held the microphone made look as though she didn't care, much to Ritsu's annoyance. "Put some effort into it!"

Misaka turned her way. "Why do I need to put effort into this announcement? asks Misaka." She didn't remove the microphone away from her lips.

"Your tone of voice is boring and lame!" Ritsu shouted back. "And half the stuff you say doesn't make sense!"

Azusa felt ignored being in the Pokéball. Whilst she could hear and see everything her friends were saying, it was still quite lonely. She wished Mio had been caught in the Pokéball with her. It would have been awkward, but she would have felt better with company. She really did not want to face another person/Pokémon in a 'Pokémon battle'.

"Nodoka-chan!" Yui suddenly jumped up and hugged her childhood friend when she saw her approaching. "Are you here to cheer me on?"

_I'm saved! _Azusa thought hen she saw the student council president. She would not allow for-.

"Everything is good to go. Are you both ready?"

"I'm ready!"

_I'm crying._

Yui stood up and looked into the Pokéball. "We can do this, Azu-nyan. Everyone is cheering us on!"

"You can do it Yui!" Mio shouted.

"Yeah, beat Konata up!" Ritsu added.

"Don't you mean her Pokémon?"

"Uh… Yeah… Of course I meant that."

"Just do your best," Ui said with a smile.

"Be careful," Nodoka said last.

Konata stood up first and took her position. One hand kept the rim of her hat over her eyes revealing only a cat-like smile underneath. The crowd died down in anticipation as the commentator began the opening statement.

"The Pokémon battle is about to begin, says Misaka."

"That's a LAME opening statement!"

Misaka turned to Ritsu. "What should I say then?"

"Say something like, 'Welcome everyone! I hope you're all excited for this once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a live Pokémon battle in our very own school! Let's hear you cheer for the contestants that will be battling it out to the death!' "

"Welcome everyone. I hope you're all excited. Let's cheer. Blah, blah, blah."

"What the hell was that?"

"I forgot what you told me, says Misaka apologetically. However, I think that what I said before was suffice and to the point."

Mio sweat-dropped. "This is a one-sided bickering."

Yui stepped up to her position and the crowds were finally silent giving their full attention to the two battlers. However, even with all eyes on her Yui looked down at her Pokéball and smiled quite happily to Azusa. "Azu-nyan, let's do our best." She hugged the Pokéball to her chest. For a moment, Azusa felt peace as Yui's warmth spread through her. "_Things are going to be okay,"_ Yui whispered. And, for a moment, Azusa felt the same.

"I choose you, Azu-nyan!" The cat girl was launched from the Pokéball and landed on her feet in elegant pose showing off her feline beauty. Except that was not what she wanted as the crowd oohed at the sight of her. Phones and cameras started flashing, and later forever to be posted on the Internet, forever humiliating and scaring for life.

"Woop! Show some more skin!" someone shouted and Azusa quickly curled up. Her tail flicked round and she hugged it for comfort.

Across the stadium, Konata coolly reached into her pocket and brought out a Pokéball. For a brief moment as she pulled her arm back to send out her Pokémon her eyes could be seen glistening with excitement.

"I choose you, Jun-chu!"

The Pokéball arced high in the air. At the top of the parabola it opened and a white light shot out to form a person/Pokémon. She dressed modestly compared to the cat girl as she wore a one-piece swimsuit. However, it looked like she had been dunked in yellow paint, as her skin was definitely the wrong colour for the average Japanese person. Pikachu ears had been glued to her head and a lightning tail to her bum. There were brown stripes across her back but it was a rushed job. The red spots on her cheeks were splotches of what could have been ketchup.

Azusa almost felt more sorry for Jun than for herself. Almost.

"Azu-nyan?!" said the Azu-nyan, surprised.

"Not 'Azu-nyan', Azu-nyan; it's 'Jun-chu'," Yui corrected. The crowd's reaction was more or less the same as Azusa's.

"Well, she did only have ten minutes," Sawako said about the paint job, sitting beside Mio and Ritsu.

"Aren't you going to put a stop to this?" Mio asked but she already knew the answer.

"Of course not! I get to see people's reactions to my outfit without even wearing it myself! And now I know it isn't socially acceptable to be seen in that."

"I'm sure you didn't need a test subject to realise that…"

* * *

**POKMON PART 2**

* * *

"Azu-nyan?" said the Azu-nyan, a bit miffed.

"Jun-chu," the Jun-chu said, just as shocked.

"Azu-nyan! Azu-Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan, finally understood.

"Jun-chu," the Jun-chu said, "Jun, chu Jun-chu-chu?"

The Azu-nyan shook her head. "Nyan…"

"Jun-Jun-chu! Jun-Jun-chu-chu!" the Jun-chu shouted back.

"Azu, Azu-nyan Azu Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan.

"Jun-chu, Jun Jun-chu Jun-Jun chu?" the Jun-chu asked.

"Azu-nyan, Azu Azu-nyan nyan-."

"Chu! Jun-chu Jun-Jun chu-Jun!" the Jun-chu shouted suddenly. "Jun-chu Jun, Jun-chu Jun? Jun-chu, Jun-chu?"

"Azu-nyan Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan, trying to calm her friend down.

"Jun-chu… Jun-chu… Jun Jun-Jun Jun-chu Jun chu-Jun… Chu," the Jun-chu said, dramatically.

The Azu-nyan tensed up. "Azu-nyan… Nyan?" said the Azu-nyan.

* * *

"Do you have any clue what they are saying?" Ritsu asked with a mouthful of popcorn.

Mio replied, "No- and why do you have popcorn? One of our club members is about to get in a fight and you bring popcorn?"

"Hey, this is Azusa we're talking about. It'll just be a girly catfight but with a bigger audience."

"The _entire school. _You were just saying it would be a battle to the death!"

"Ah well, I was just exaggerating. Besides, when are you going to ever see this again?"

The large screen stopped showing adverts and turned into a side on view of the stadium. The film club members quickly gave the thumbs up from their respective cameras as the screen switched between various angles.

"Or we could catch it on DVD/Blu-ray later."

A picture of each person/Pokémon appeared with health bars beneath their names in each corner of the screen whilst the film crew adjusted their positions. Most cameras fixated their lenses on Azusa, extracting as much fan service out of the girl as possible. Azusa caught wind of this and curled up again.

"A-ah, Ritsu-chan."

Yui's support group in the football goals turned towards a small girl that approached them. It was Shizuka in their class. "Oh, Shizuka, heya. I heard you were almost hit by a car yesterday, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks to Mugi-chan." Her voice trailed off. "I-is Mugi-chan around?" she asked but Ritsu shook her head.

"Nah, she's not going to be around afterschool for the next few days. Top secret family business apparently."

"Oh, okay." She turned and walked away, thinking.

"Hm…" Ritsu thought, seeing a pink letter in her hands.

* * *

"My legs are cold," Yui said.

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan, shivering.

"Thanks Azu-nyan." Yui paused for a moment. "Actually, it's just my right leg because-."

"Ahem, says Misaka to get attention. The battle is about to begin."

Everyone quietened down for the commentator. Ritsu bit back the urge to run in, snatch the microphone and rile up the crowd. However Misaka was about to state the rules, which Ritsu was likely to skip over.

"Hirasawa Yui will be facing against Izumi Konata. Each side will use only one Pokémon, says Misaka stating the rules."

"Hey, how are we doing this?" Konata shouted across the arena to Yui. "Like the games or the anime?"

"How about the manga?" Yui replied.

"Great idea! It'll be more realistic that way."

The Azu-nyan raised an eyebrow in question.

"Oh, I remember an Arbok being cut in half from one of the volumes," Ritsu said in the background.

"NYAN!" said the Azu-nyan in a panic.

"Don't worry, Azu-nyan. Jun-chus don't have claws. They're electric types."

Azusa sighed. She readied her position, unsure how to go about this. They couldn't possibly be expecting a fight, could they? Jun's words were etched in her mind. _At least one of us will make it out… alive._ What did Konata tell her?

Jun looked focused. Sparks of electricity crackled from her red cheeks and dissipated into the air. _Wait, did that just-._

"Are both competitors ready to begin? Misaka asks pointlessly since everyone was ready ten minutes ago.

"Ready? Fight."

* * *

Konata took the initiative roll. "Jun-chu, Thunderbolt!"

"Azu-nyan, dodge it!"

The electricity was no joke. Jun went on all fours, flaunting her yellow body as blue sparks shot out and streaked across the arena to her target.

Azusa didn't know how to react. In fact she didn't, until the attack hit her. All of her muscles contracted at once and she curled up as pain coursed through her body. All her nerves were on fire and the shocks rippled up and down her body.

"NYY-YY-AA-NN."

"Azu-nyan!" Yui shouted when the attack stopped. The cat girl was inhaling deep breaths but lay on the floor.

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan. _This is serious._

"Azu-nyan has taken 20% damage, says Misaka, pointing to the screen." _Twenty? I thought I was dead! _Beneath a picture of Azusa was a health bar with a displayed percentage. She was still in the green but Azusa did not want to take any more hits. She looked back to see Yui's worried face.

"Azu-nyan, you don't have to fight anymore." Yui was sad. Azusa could tell she cared for her and for a moment was willing to give up. But Yui was the challenger. If they quit after one attack, the setting up of the arena, the film club members' efforts, and the commentator stealing the microphone from the soon-to-be-angry headmaster would all be wasted. Even though Azusa had accepted that she would probably never marry, she still had her pride. And this wasn't just about her. She was doing this for Yui's sake.

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan, getting to her feet. The pain had already gone. It was more 'shock' than anything. She looked back with determination and locked eyes with Yui. They both nodded.

"Azu-nyan! Quick, attack!"

"Was that a Quick Attack or did I mishear Yui?" Ritsu said.

Azusa ran forwards on the command, feeling the energy from her trainer behind her back.

Konata smirked. "Dodge, then Iron Tail." At the last moment, Jun sidestepped and left her foot out. Azusa tripped. But before she hit the floor Jun spun full circle and whipped out her tail.

It hit to the stomach, winding Azusa. But she held her ground and remained on her feet to keep her balance.

"10% damage, says Misaka."

"Azu-nyan, Iron Tail back!" Azusa's tail was like a whip and it lashed out, striking Jun in the head. A red mark could be seen across her face. Both took several steps back to assess the situation.

"15% damage, critical hit, says Misaka. It's not very effective."

"Eh?" Yui cried.

"She's an electric type!" Ritsu shouted from the side-line. "They're only weak to ground type moves!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Azu-nyan, use Earthquake!"

"Azu-nyan?!" said the Azu-nyan.

"Just stomp the ground and you'll be fine."

_Here goes nothing,_ she thought. Azusa jumped up and stamped both feet into the ground and a white ripple exploded out and the ground trembled. Jun tried to step back but the wave hit her.

"35% damage. It's super effective."

"What Pokémon are you even cosplaying?" Ritsu shouted. Yui just rubbed the back of her head and grinned.

"Jun-chu, use Recover." An inner energy glowed within Jun. It spread through her body and soothed her. The red mark across her face disappeared and she seemed reinvigorated for the fight.

"What kind of electric type can use Recover anyway?" Ritsu shouted, watching Jun's health recover to full. "Full? That's not fair!"

"If you did the maths, it's right," Mio said.

* * *

"Azu!" said the Azu-nyan. "Azu nyan-nyan Azu nyan Azu-nyan?"

"Chu?" the Jun-chu replied. "Jun-chu Jun! Jun-chu chu Jun?"

"Azu-nyan Azu Azu-nyan Azu," said the Azu-nyan, quietening down.

"Jun-Jun-chu!" the Jun-chu said, spreading her arm towards the audience. "Jun chu Jun-chu."

"Azu nyan-Azu Azu-nyan Azu-nyan? Azu-nyan Azu-nyan?" pleaded the Azu-nyan.

"Jun-chu Jun-chu," the Jun-chu said. She paused for a moment. "Chu…"

"Nyan nyan?" demanded the Azu-nyan. "Azu-nyan Azu Azu Azu-nyan. Azu-nyan Azu Azu-nyan. Azu-nyan Azu-."

"Jun-chu Jun-Jun-chu!" the Jun-chu shouted over her friend. "Jun-chu Jun-Jun chu-chu Jun-chu chu Jun-chu!"

"Azu?" said the Azu-nyan, surprised. However, Jun was focusing her energy.

* * *

"Do you have any clue this time?" Ritsu asked again, with a plate of fries. By her feet was her extra large bottle of ketchup.

"Of course I don't," Mio replied, reaching over to steal some chips. "Where did you get these?"

"I have four litres of ketchup to get through. Don't distract me."

"You should have added that to the popcorn."

"Mio! That's disgusting! I have, however, come up with a brilliant prank."

"Oh no."

* * *

"Jun-chu, use Calm Mind!" Jun focused and closed her eyes. The Jun-chu relaxed, though Azusa felt like knocking her out of it.

_Idiot. That's not going to happen_. Azusa readied for her next attack.

"Azu-nyan, use Taunt!"

_Actually that works better_. "Nyan, Azu-nyan! Azu-nyan, Azu-nyan nyan Azu! Azu-Azu-nyan Azu nyan Azu-Azu-nyan Azu nyan nyan!"

Jun's hair exploded into a mushroom cloud. "JUN-CHU!"

_Oh, that worked better than expected, _Azusa thought to herself. Maybe Jun was using the Rage attack? Her cheeks sparked and electricity shot out. It was poorly aimed from her anger and Azusa nimbly stepped between the shocks.

"Azu-nyan! Quick Attack to dodge, then charge in with Iron Tail!" Azusa closed the distance with a burst of speed, weaving in and out as electricity rained down her path. In the brief moment after Jun stopped, Azusa took the opening, spun and lashed out with her tail.

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan.

With the full force of the Quick Attack behind a tail of iron, Jun was knocked off her feet and crashed to the ground a fair distance away. Dust was kicked up into the air each time her limp body bounced off the ground.

"40% damage, combination attack, says Misaka, lamp-shading the iffy maths of pokemon."

Azusa felt tired but the adrenaline rush was worth it. She ignored the fact that she had just charged at one of her best friends and wacked her with an iron bar she called a tail, and the fact she was a Pokémon, and that she was following each and every command of the sempai she trusted the least in this situation. Except maybe Ritsu. It was a unique situation to be fair. But…

"Jun-chu, are you okay?" Konata asked. The bushy-haired girl got back to her feet and cackled with electricity. "Good. Go for an Iron Tail and swing it wide!"

Jun stepped in close and did a full spin, her tail covering a wide arc. Azusa stepped back to dodge but-.

"Another spin!" Kontata ordered. Jun continued in full circle and the second attack caught Azusa out. She managed to jump backwards but she tripped on her tail, landing on her rear end. "Now, Thunderbolt and one last Iron Tail!"

"Jun-chu!" the Jun-chu said with her tail coated in blue electricity. She swung. The attack connected with Azusa's side and the electricity caused all her muscles to contract again. At the same time, the force of the tail knocked her across the ground, kicking dust clouds into the air.

"Azu-nyan!" Yui cried.

"49.9% damage, says Misaka, not believing Azu-nyan's luck on health." She was on 1 HP. Her health bar flashed red. Azusa felt drained, and her muscles spasm-ed. Her ears rang, a loud beeping noise pained her, screaming that she was weak and low on health. She closed her eyes, wanting to rest.

"Hey," Ritsu said, "how did that do so much damage?"

Mio answered, "Jun used Calm Mind before so that has something to do with it."

"That's not fair. I thought Taunt stopped it?"

"She must have managed to pull one off."

"You can do it Azu-nyan!" She half opened her eyes to see Yui running towards her. "You have more in you, I know it!" _Yui is cheering me on._ Azusa sighed. If she still had one health left, it must mean she had more to give, even if it was 0.1% left. It took a lot of effort, but Azusa managed to place her hands on the floor. She pushed herself up and looked over. There, Konata and Jun's smug faces stared back at her. '_Is that it?'_ they seemed to say.

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan. "Azu-Azu-nyan."

"That's right Azu-nyan!" Yui said, as Azusa managed to stay on her feet. "We can finish this in one hit!"

"What!" Ritsu said. "Why didn't you use this move before, Yui?"

Yui smiled. "Hoho!" She pulled her hat behind her head and pointed forwards. With full force, she shouted loudly. "Azu-nyan, use Hyper Beam!"

Azusa inhaled, imagining the move in her head. She glowed faintly, summoning energy from within. Yui cheered her on, pumping her fist with gusto.

Jun got ready to dodge, stepping backwards to further the distance between her and Azusa. Konata didn't move though and stood there with a faint smile on her face.

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan, ready to unleash her attack.

"Fire!" Yui shouted like a tank commander.

Azusa roared. And that was it.

"Azu-nyan?" said the Azu-nyan, confused.

On the other side, Konata was laughing. "It seems you're suffering from 'four-move-slot-syndrome'." Jun relaxed, thankful to not have to face off against a Hyper Beam.

Yui started counting her fingers. "Quick Attack… Iron Tail… Taunt… Earth… Oh yeah…" Yui pulled her hat over her eyes to hide.

"Azu-nyan-nyan!" shouted the Azu-nyan, annoyed and embarrassed.

"Sorry, sorry. Um…" Yui started panicking. "Run away?"

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan.

Jun started moving forward. She looked ready to kill, like a predator having just cornered her prey. Her tail was raised in the air; she was poised and primed.

"Onee-chan!" someone shouted from behind. Yui looked back to see Ui throw something to her. She reached out and caught it in both hands, almost falling over in the process. It was a slightly transparent, green stone. At the centre was a crystal thunderbolt. "It's a Thunderstone. Use it on Azu-nyan!"

"Right!" Yui looked at her Pokémon. She was suddenly reminded of a Pokémon episode where Pikachu refused to evolve out of pride. _How would Azu-nyan react? Will she do this, just to win?_

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan, diving for the stone. _Desperate times call for desperate measures,_ Azusa thought.

"Isn't this against the rules?" Konata asked.

"I think you're too late anyway," Ritsu replied.

"Azu-nyan is evolving, says Misaka. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-duuuuu-."

She was glowing white. The cameras focused on her, waiting for the reveal. The crowd leaned in, expecting a magical girl transformation.

Then, with a flash, the white cleared to reveal… Azu-nyan.

"Congratulations. Azu-nyan evolved into Azu-nyan-E, says Misaka."

"Who comes up with these lame names anyway?" Ritsu shouted into the air. The Author quietly walked away.

Azusa had barely changed in terms of her body. The small cat girl was still a small cat girl. But it was the minor details that were interesting. Her fur was longer, untamed, and wilder. The tips of her ears were tinged a golden-yellow, as were her tails. The twin tails of hair, and her new twin tails. Two thunderbolt tattoos were etched into her skin; one by her navel, the other across her right eye like tattoos.

Azusa stood up, stretched and roared. "Azu-nyan!" She showed off her fangs. With new vigour, electricity coated her longer, more elegant claws and she flaunted them with flair.

_I feel charged,_ Azusa thought, smirking at her own pun. She looked up and saw herself on the screen. _So that's what I look like now?_ She stared for a few moments.

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan-E, suddenly embarrassed. She curled up, hiding her exposed skin. She hugged her tail- tails? _I have two tails?_

"Azu-nyan," Yui shouted, catching her attention. "You're so cool!" The crowd agreed, cheering for a comeback. Their supporters in the box were also shouting out, though for different reasons.

Mio asked, bluntly, "What the hell just happened?"

"It's better not to ask," Ritsu replied.

* * *

"You may have evolved but you're in red HP." Konata pointed forward. "Jun-chu, use Thunderbolt!"

"Jun-chu!" She quickly let off the attack, the Thunderbolt scarring the ground as it surged towards the target.

Azusa tried to dodge. "Azu-nyan!" cried the Azu-nyan, tripping over her tails.

"No!" Yui cried as the Thunderbolt struck. Azusa braced herself. Except, instead of pain, she started to feel better.

"Azu-nyan is healing with Volt Absorb, says Misaka." The health bar on the screen started to fill, putting her into the yellow zone.

"Alright!" Yui fist pumped. "Okay then, Azu-nyan, use Extreme Speed!"

"A new move!" Konata cried. Azusa disappeared from sight to everyone's surprise, reappearing in flashes as she closed the distance. Jun got ready to dodge but Azusa tackled her from the side, knocking her down.

"Jun-chu takes 20% damage, putting her onto 40%, says Misaka."

"Azu-nyan, use Earthquake!" Yui commanded. Azusa punched the floor with both hands and a white rippled surged towards Jun who was still half on the floor.

"Jun-chu, Iron Tail the floor to jump!" She slammed her tail on the ground between her legs, launching herself into the air. Just in time as the attack passed beneath her.

"Let's keep this up!" Yui cried out. "Get close with Extreme Speed!"

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nayn, disappearing from sight. She reappeared just to jump after Jun. "Now use Iron Tail and Thunderbolt!"

"That's crazy!" Konata shouted. "Jun-chu, protect yourself with the same!"

Both Pokémon's tails glowed and shined. Electricity coursed through the two, one blue; the other yellow.

"Azu-nyan!" said the Azu-nyan.

"Jun-chu!" the Jun-chu said.

They both swung their tails at the same time. In one, epic second, the two Pokémon shone brightly as the energies collided. However, the Azu-nyan-E had two tails. As the first was parried, the second got past Jun's guard, striking her in the stomach. She was sent straight into the ground. A lot of dust was kicked up but the crowd could see Jun's limp body on the floor sparking with electricity. For a few seconds, she lit up, hanging on to life. Then, the light died.

"Jun-chu is unable to battle, says Misaka. Hirasawa Yui wins."

"Wahoo!" Yui cheered. "Azu-nyan! We won!"

However, Azusa walked over to her friend on the floor. There was a sad look on her face, almost pitying.

* * *

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan. "Azu-nyan Azu."

The Jun-chu was breathing heavily on the floor. "Chu… Jun… Jun-chu…" the Jun-chu said.

"Azu Azu-nyan nyan? Azu Azu-nyan nyan?" said the Azu-nyan, holding up a paw.

"Jun-chu Jun?" the Jun-chu asked, laughing, even though it hurt her chest to. "Jun-chu Jun chu."

"Azu nyan Azu-nyan Azu?" asked the Azu-nyan. "Azu-nyan nyan Azu. Azu-nyan nyan nyan-Azu Azu-nyan Azu-nyan, nyan-nyan Azu-nyan-nyan-."

"Jun! Jun-chu chu chu-Jun Jun-chu. Chu chu Jun-chu chu Jun. Chu-Jun Jun-chu… Jun-chu…" the Jun-chu said, trailing off. Her voice was getting quieter.

"Azu-nyan!" cried the Azu-nyan, shaking the other Pokémon. "Azu-nyan Azu! Nyan-Azu, nyan-Azu nyan Azu-nyan nyan nyan-Azu nyan-nyan-Azu!"

"Jun-chu chu chu-chu… Jun-chu," the Jun-chu finally said, closing her eyes.

"AAAZZZUUUUU!" cried the Azu-nyan, sinking to her knees. "NNNYYYYAAAAANNNNNN!"

* * *

"What do you think they are saying?" Ritsu asked. Mio and Sawako shrugged and took another chip, helping themselves to ketchup as well.

"How am I supposed to know? These kind of things is your job."

"Hm…" Ritsu placed her head on her hand. "Nooo! Whhhyyy?"

"…Any more on that?"

"It's quite hard to translate between Pokémon and Japanese, especially if you only have 'Azu' and 'Nyan' to go off. Even she added an 'E' in it for variation, it would still be impossible."

"I'm sure you would be a great Pokémon, Ritsu."

"Oh, just a thought, Azusa shouldn't have learnt any new moves if she evolved by stone, right?"

"Tell that to Yui." The guitarist had her Pokémon in a bear hug, enough to turn her blue.

(Note: she can actually learn moves if she evolved by stone if her new form could learn a move at that level. However, most of those Pokémon only learn moves at level one, implying Azusa is level one. Which she probably is considering the situation.)

* * *

"We won!"

"Azu-nyan," said the Azu-nyan.

"Azu-nyan grew up a level, says Misaka." On the screen, a list of stat gains appeared.

Health went up by three.

Attack went up by three.

Defence went up by one.

Special attack went up by three.

Special defence went up by one.

Speed went up by five.

Agi went up by a three.

Dex went up by two.

Mag went up by a half.

"Azu-nyan?" said the Azu-nyan, confused.

Constitution went up by one.

Mind went up by two.

Cuteness went up by five.

Ear pointiness when up by three.

Tail length went up by two.

Maid compatibility went up by eight.

Weight went up by one.

"NYAN?!" shouted the Azu-nyan.

Sexual attractiveness went up by two.

Sexual tendencies went up by five.

Sexual activity went up by fifteen.

"…" said the Azu-nyan, kind of. She looked around, waiting for more stats to push the last few lines off the screen.

"You know, everyone's reading that on the big screen," Yui said.

The last three messages remained there.

"Sexual attractiveness went up by two.

"Sexual tendencies went up by five.

"Sexual activity went up by fifteen."

"Azu-nyan nyan Azu-Azu-nyan Azu nyan…" said the Azu-nyan, shirking away. "Nyan?"

* * *

The crowds started to disperse now, chatting away about the battle. Azusa heard some third years talking about her outfit and she turned red quite quickly.

Konata returned Jun to her Pokéball. "That was a good match," Konata said, smiling. She held out her hand. "Let's do that again sometime."

Yui took the handshake as a hug instead. "Hehe, thank you."

Azusa eyed Yui's Pokéball. Hopefully, she could hide away from the world for a few days. Maybe there weren't that many pictures taken of her and everything would blow over in the next week. And if that fails she could run away with Extreme Speed into the mountains and live as a mountain cat and roast nuts with her electric powers for food. Catching fish would be easy, and if there were bears she could cause an earthquake to scare them off.

"Is Jun-chan okay?" asked Yui.

"Yeah, we just need a Pokémon centre."

"Where are we going to get one of those?"

* * *

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding* *Dong* *Dang*

"Was that the Author's voice just then?" Yui asked but was ignored.

Konata took her Pokéball back from the Pokémon centre machine in the clubroom. The machine was of similar design to the one from the games but for one Pokémon at a time.

"Why is this thing installed with the computer? And why does this club room even need these things?" Mio asked. The two machines were placed by Ton-chan's tank in the corner. The pig-nosed turtle did a small loop-de-loop.

"I don't know but it came in useful," Yui replied, placing Azusa's Pokéball into the machine.

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding* *Dong* *Dang*

"I choose you, Azu-nyan!" Yui let her Pokémon out and Konata followed.

* * *

"Azu-nyan?" said the Azu-nyan.

"Jun-chu," the Jun-chu said. "Jun-."

"Let's stop here," Ritsu stepped between them before things got out of hand. "So, what happens now?"

"Rematch?" Konata suggested.

"We still haven't practiced today," Mio said.

"Rematch sounds good," said Ritsu.

"The stadium is still set up, says Misaka." Misaka appeared in the room, still holding the microphone.

"Azu-nyan!" shouted the Azu-nyan, disagreeing. "Azu-Azu-nyan-."

"Return."

* * *

**DETECTIVE CONAN**

* * *

Azusa was the last to arrive to the clubroom today. "Good morning everyone," she said loudly. "Sorry I'm late." It was just before school started for the day but they had decided to meet early for Mugi. Azusa sat in her usual seat and noticed a letter on the table. '_At least it isn't a package…' _she thought.

"We were waiting for you, Azu-nyan," said Yui, smiling. Azusa avoided eye contact and gratefully accepted the tea Mugi gave her. Yesterday had been a long day. At least the costume was gone, though she wasn't sure when it disappeared. Thankfully, her parents were away on a trip. That would have taken a lot of explaining. The neighbours, however, were another question.

Mugi noticed the tension in the room. "Did I miss anything yesterday?" Her eyes lay on the computer and the Pokémon centre machine in the corner.

Ritsu shrugged. "Nothing much. We'll show you the video later."

Yui pushed the letter on the table to her junior. "It's addressed to you, Azu-nyan"

"Huh?" She quickly opened it and started reading.

"Hey, do you think the Author is putting in next chapter previews?" Ritsu asked. "It's, you know, hard to tell being in the story."

Azusa froze, catching Yui's eye. "What is it, Azu-nyan?"

"G-guys." Heads turned to the sound of Azusa's panicked voice. "It says someone is going to be murdered."


End file.
